so who wants to read my science thing i think you should because i combined that 70s show with the periodic table of elements and this is probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to read something like that
That Periodics Show written by Emi Copeland, Section 2 based on the television program created by Bonnie & Terry Turner and Mark Brazil ERIC Today I was kinda unreactive when Laurie was teasing me. HYDE Me too, man. Actually, I didn’t react at all. That’s kind of my thing, you know. Not reacting. Ever. It’s all a part of my nobility, man. ERIC Plus Laurie only ever picks on me! KELSO (laughs) Heh…Laurie never picks on me… ERIC And that’s because you’re never found uncombined, either with her, or Jackie. JACKIE Kelso!!! Where were you?! I’ve been looking everywhere! FEZ (to Kelso) She’s very dangerous when she’s uncombined with someone, yes? KELSO Shut up, man! (to Jackie) Look, Jackie, I’m sorry. I was, uh— HYDE Jackie, you’re covered in salt. JACKIE (defensive) Well, duh. We Halogens are salt-forming. And we gain or lose an electron when we react. Which I’m about to, ‘cause obviously I am reacting right now! ERIC Geez, Jackie, calm down. JACKIE As if you would know anything! Transition metal like you are less reactive than more sensitive elements, like Fez. Or Kelso. FEZ Well, I usually only react when there is candy involved, but— ERIC At least I’m a good conductor of electricity… DONNA (off-screen) And not much good at anything else! ERIC Now I’ll have you know— DONNA Oh, I’m just kidding. ERIC You’re just as bad as the rest of them! DONNA Well, metalloids have characteristics of both metals and non-metals. And we’re semiconductors, which means we conduct electricity under some conditions (nudges Eric), but not others (glares at Kelso, who is spacing out). KELSO Huh? HYDE (sarcastically, to Donna) Yeah, and you’re also brittle and hard. We noble gases are far out, man. Literally. All noble gases exist in Earth’s atmosphere. And we don’t form compounds, ‘cause we’re unreactive. DONNA I think we all knew that one, Hyde. FEZ Well, in my country, we Alkali Earth Metals are fairly hard & grey-white. We are good conductors of electricity and more reactive than most metals. We react by losing two electrons. And we’re never found uncombined in nature too! DONNA Wow, Fez. ERIC I think that’s the way Alkali Earth Metals are in every country, Fez. HYDE Maybe that explains why you never leave us alone. KELSO BURN!!!!!!! KELSO cont’d. Haha, get it… ’cause Alkali Metals are good conductors of heat and energy…And I’m an Alkali Metal…so it’s like a burn… HYDE But Kelso, man, I’m the one who said the burn. KELSO Well, yeah, but I’m the one who actually said “BURN”. FEZ Does that too qualify as a burn? KELSO (pointedly ignoring Fez) And besides, that’s not the only great thing about Alkali Metals. We’re soft, silver-white, & shiny, with one electron in the outer shell. Our reaction with water is violent too. HYDE And that would explain why you always smell so bad. FEZ BURN!!!!!
INT. THE FORMANS’ BASEMENT. DAY.
Eric, Hyde, Kelso & Fez are sitting in The Circle, talking. Fez is eating chocolate. Eric is wearing a green sweater with the element symbol Ni on it, Hyde a black t-shirt with He, Kelso a long-sleeved, v-necked red shirt with K, & Fez a light blue collared shirt with Ra. It should be noted that Laurie is Eric’s older sister.
CUT TO:
Jackie flings open the door to the basement, looking out-of-breath & angry. Her blue blouse says Br.
Donna walks across the basement and sits down next to Eric, whom she kisses briefly. She’s wearing a red baseball-style shirt with Si written in varsity typeface.
(There is silence.)
(Fade to black as theme tune plays).
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calvincandied said:
it’s….perfect
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holdoncallfailed posted this
